Am I being punished?

No I am not. I know that. God doesn’t punish anyone. With that said, he doesn’t always intervene and therefore bad things happen. Well, nothing bad has happen! But, for those who know me know I don’t like guns, real or fake. I don’t think it is fun when children shoot at me. I know it is normal for children to play guns, but I still don’t like them. The only guns my children own are squirt guns from this last summer and the guns that come with Isaac’s clone trooper action figures. Isaac never turned any toy into a gun until his 2 or 3 year old sister did! And Benjamin, being the youngest, is always shooting at something. So what is the punishment I have been given? Tonight, Isaac was walking down the hallway and said, “ Daddy, can you imagine if your nostrils were guns?” So, the next time I see him wiggling his nose, I am going to think that he is trying to shoot at me!

This happens to go well with a conversation I had about guns and boys blowing things up the other day. The conversation was the same as any conversation until my friend asked how I liked bows and arrows since they are meant for hurting others. Great question! It really made me think (which is why I like her so much). to me bows and arrows are cartoon, fictional toys. So,I don’t think anything bad about them. You can even make them! However, they are meant for killing. They were used throughout the middle ages for war and hunting food. So are bows and arrows any less violent or do they portray any less evil than guns? Well, for me, at this time, yes. In our day and age, guns are associated with crime and hurting others. I don’t think hunting is a necessary sport. While I am not a vegetarian, I don’t see the need to go kill an animal for food. I can buy my chicken at the store. Unless I am a. officer of the peace, I don’t see a need to learn to shoot a gun. I guess also I don’t see how playing guns or shooting guns makes me a better person.

So, for all the guns lovers out there, just so you know, Isaac did get his BB Gun Belt Loop at scout camp AND I know someone who takes their 6 year old daughter to a local gun club and I have thought that maybe Isaac, and Bekah but she doesn’t like to shoot the bow and arrow yet, might like to go sometime. So while I am so weird compared to the rest of the world, I am not completely out of touch with reality. I still think that guns are a yucky evil in our world, but they are here and I do try to understand Isaac’s happiness in playing with them.

Mrs. Jennings

I love Jane Austen books. I love the love stories. I am fascinated how the people never talk to each other! In Pride and Prejudice Jane’s own mother asks Elizabeth about what happened while Jane was in London. In Sense and Sensibility there were numerous times when the sisters openly conceal things from each other. No communication. And who is the bad character? Mrs. Jennings who talks! She doesn’t talk bad about anyone, she just talks. So, while I would love to be able to conceal so much, I am more like Mrs. Jennings. Well, I would like to be more like Mrs.Jennings =) Someone who just talks. My problem is that I have opinions, so while I am talking like Mrs. Jennings, I tend to voice those opinions and hence consider myself a gossip =( Sad, but true. And something I am working on! So, the point of this blog post, is that while I have said some horrible things about people (when voicing my opinion), I recently said some non-horrible things about a person I know. These non-horrible things were really expressed concerns that were formulated from information I had from a year and a half ago. Apparently someone told her (super mad message posted to Facebook, followed by threatening comments from her husband, and thus being completely blocked from her). While I say things that people should be mad at me about, this was honestly a mistake. However, she never talked to me personally about it. Only put comments on Facebook and then blocked me (and in my opinion, she should have come to me). So,m in my efforts to be Mrs. Jennings, I will continue to try and keep my opinions to myself to other people about other people, but I will continue to talk and not conceal everything =)

Albertson's

So Albertson's is not my favorite store. It is just too expensive. It is also almost 5 miles away from my house! I have Stater Bros, WinCo, Food 4 less (never step foot in that store), Target, and Costco all within 2 miles, so why travel 5 miles to an expensive store. Today I needed Potato Dumplings for St. Nick, saffron, caraway seeds, currants, and ultra tampons. So why did I travel 5 miles to an expensive store? Because they carry all those items and the stores closer to me do not!

No painkillers please, we're British - USATODAY.com

No painkillers please, we're British - USATODAY.com

Last year, our book club group began the discussion of Freedoms versus Securities. It is actually interesting to think about. China is a very safe country. They have lots of security. However, they have minimal freedoms! The freedoms we have here in America make it so some of our security is taken away. Now I am not concerned about the security of going outside for a bike ride, but my children are not protected in the public school with the curriculum being taught. For the most part, I would have to say that America does have freedom AND security, but our country was founded on freedoms, not securities.

The above article is a great look at the securities in England, but not necessarily their freedoms.

Mommy Life: Transgendered Girl Scouts - yes, really

Mommy Life: Transgendered Girl Scouts - yes, really

No thoughts need be expressed. He sums it up!

The Awakening

So, my niece (16) was required to read this book for school. She was enjoying it, so I asked to read it after she was finished. I think it is an moderately-easy read and something I want to keep reading to learn more about. With that said. I am not finishing the book. It is a women's lib book. The main character is married with 2 children and the family is spending their summer on an island resort. She spends her time with an unmarried man while her husband goes to work on the ferry and her children spend their time with a nanny. So of course this will eventually lead to divorce, a broken family and all because of selfishness! This book is not making me a better person. The husband is not a bad guy. He is very nice and attentive, when the wife lets him. I do not appreciate Warren more because of this book. I don't appreciate my life better. Her life is great, she just is choosing to be selfish!

So my question is, why on earth does a 16 year old required to read this book for school? Maybe there is something else to come in the book? I read 57 of the 133 pages and yet, nothing to make me a better person. There is a selection of short stories by the same author in the book. One of the titles is 'A Shameful Affair'. Great choose of books for our impressionable teenagers! No security! (see post on pain killers)

'Brocket'

Almost three years ago, my mother got a new puppy. It was very tiny and was often cold. My mom solved her problem by carrying the dog around in her 'brocket'. Clever. Since then many girls and women are using their 'brockets' for cell phones, money, lipstick, etc. In fact, I believe my grandma used her 'brocket' for her tissues. So, this idea is actually not new, but very popular. It is so popular, that at the LA County Fair, there was a lady selling bras with pockets! Now, she didn't have my mom's great name, but still, she was selling them =)

So, why am I thinking about his at 5 in the morning? What else should I think about at 5 in the morning while folding laundry?

Mother Theresa came to mind. Do you think she would have stuck her hand down her shirt, IN PUBLIC, IN FRONT OF THE POPE to pull out a list she had made or to get a tissue? NO!!!!!! Are you kidding me. That would have been gross. The media would have had something unpleasant about Mother Theresa to talk about. And what about President Obama or any other male pubic figure? How would you like to see them stick their hands in their UNDERWEAR to get some money? Anybody else here grossed out?!

So the bigger problem is really the lack in class, respect, etc. in our society as a whole. The 'What is convenient for me is what I am going to!' attitude. Our standard of dress and standard about what is acceptable to do and say in public and mixed company has changed. I know I contribute to it, but hopefully I can make some positive changes in my life might just be old-fashioned =)

Encircled About in the Arms of Love (my talk)

Long ago in a beautiful garden filled with peace and love, a man and a woman were created; a paradisiacal creation. They were immortal and were able to live forever. They could talk to their Father face to face any time they wanted. However, they were not able to age or gain wisdom, have children, or understand true happiness because they were unable to understand sadness. They were not able to fulfill the commandments given to them. Their creation needed a change.

That change came when the man choose to partake of the forbidden fruit. This man and woman were now a mortal creation. They were not able to see their Father when they talked to him. However, they were able have children, laugh, cry, run and get out of breath. They were able to fall and break a bone and then heal. They were able to die. They knew they had to keep the commandments given to them here on earth so they would be able to see their Father again.

Now, this man and woman did keep their commandments and when they died here on earth, they entered their immortal creation. Their bodies became perfect. They were reconciled with their Father.

When I think of the word reconciliation, I think of accounting and balancing my checkbook. But if you know any Latin, or remember your grammar, you will remember that ‘Re’ means ‘again’, ‘Con’ means ‘with’, and ‘Sella’ means ‘seat’. So, the word means ‘to sit with again’. So, to say that they reconciled with their Father, it is saying that they were able to sit with their Father again. After all that time on earth in their mortal existence, all that time when they suffered and had sorrow and were unable to see Him while communicating with Him, I can only imagine the joy they felt when they were able to sit with their Father and see him face to face.

Now the main character of this story has not been mentioned. Why hasn’t he been mentioned? Because He is so good and so loving; Because he is always there even when you don’t know he is there; and because He wanted to be the One to make this man and woman’s happiness possible without recieving any credit. From the beginning, He was willing to give us His life, so we could have ours. His name is Jesus Christ.

The word Atonement is often defined as at-one-ment, meaning, to be at one with God. In Hebrew, the word for atonement is kaphar which means ‘to cover’ or ‘to forgive’. In Arabic the word kafat means ‘a close embrace’. I like that one. Lehi taught his children ‘…I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.’ When someone is having a bad day, isn’t an embrace, isn’t being encircled about in the arms of love what makes everything better? Because of the Atonement of our eldest Brother Jesus Christ, we are ‘encircled about eternally in the arms of His love.’

Elder Russell M. Nelson says, “To be redeemed is to be atoned-received in the close embrace of God with an expression not only of His forgiveness, but of our oneness of heart and mind.” ‘Oneness of heart and mind.’

Most often, when we hear the word Atonement, we think of the sacrifice the Savior made for our sins. President James E. Faust reminds us that, “The Atonement not only benefits the sinner but also benefits those sinned against- that is the victim.” When we pray each day and while we take the sacrament, after we have repented, do we thank our Savior for atoning for our sufferings; for enabling us to be encircled about eternally in his arms in our times of needs? President Faust continues, “The Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort to those who have been innocently victimized by the sins of others. The basic source for the healing of the soul is the Atonement of Jesus Christ.” I think that statement has strong words with a strong meaning. I have met many people who have had tragic events occur in their lives. Those who have a testimony of the Atonement and understand that the Atonement applies to their sufferings have that comfort and peace.

In the April 2010 Ensign, Elder Jean A Tefan, former member of the Seventy, shared an experience he had when his wife became ill.

“It was at the height of my wife’s suffering that I came to better understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I remember feeling completely overwhelmed by what Gisèle was experiencing. What had she done to deserve such an affliction? Hadn’t she served the Lord faithfully? Hadn’t she lived the Word of Wisdom? Why couldn’t He have prevented this illness? Why?

One particular night I let my heart and my feelings burst in prayer as I recounted to the Lord all of my frustrations. “I can no longer stand to watch my dear wife endure such pain!” I told Him. Then I decided to turn to the scriptures. I found these comforting verses about Jesus Christ in Alma 7:11–12:

“And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

“And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”

The Lord knows how to help us when we are suffering. He knows because he has felt those pains.

In April of this year, there was a reprint of an article by ELDER BRUCE R. MCCONKIE (1915–85) Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in the Ensign. It said, “Two thousand years ago, outside Jerusalem’s walls, there was a pleasant garden spot, Gethsemane by name, where Jesus and His intimate friends were wont to retire for pondering and prayer. There Jesus taught His disciples the doctrines of the kingdom, and all of them communed with Him who is the Father of us all, in whose ministry they were engaged and on whose errand they served.

This sacred spot, like Eden where Adam dwelt, like Sinai from whence Jehovah gave His laws, like Calvary where the Son of God gave His life a ransom for many, this holy ground is where the sinless Son of the Everlasting Father took upon Himself the sins of all men on condition of repentance.

We do not know, we cannot tell, no mortal mind can conceive the full import of what Christ did in Gethsemane.

We know He sweat great gouts of blood from every pore as He drained the dregs of that bitter cup His Father had given Him.

We know He suffered, both body and spirit, more than it is possible for man to suffer, except it be unto death.

We know that in some way, incomprehensible to us, His suffering satisfied the demands of justice, ransomed penitent souls from the pains and penalties of sin, and made mercy available to those who believe in His holy name.

We know that He lay prostrate upon the ground as the pains and agonies of an infinite burden caused Him to tremble and would that He might not drink the bitter cup.

We know that an angel came from the courts of glory to strengthen Him in His ordeal, and we suppose it was mighty Michael, who foremost fell that mortal man might be.

As near as we can judge, these infinite agonies—this suffering beyond compare—continued for some three or four hours.”

Now, I cannot comprehend His ability to do this, but I know He did.

As a child, I never went to any church. But seeds were planted because sometime in my teen years, I fell in love with the poem Footprints. I didn’t know then the significance of the meaning found within that poem.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you."

He does carry us. He is with us every single step of the way.

During the General Relief Society Meeting this past Conference, President Uchtdorf said, “Whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you “(Sept. 2011).

“Allow His divine love into your life, It can dews any wound, heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow” (Sept. 2011).

“We long for the ultimate blessing of the Atonement—to become one with Him, to be in His divine presence, to be called individually by name as He warmly welcomes us home with a radiant smile, beckoning us with open arms to be enfolded in His boundless love.” (Faust, Alma 26:15; Morm. 5:11; Morm. 6:17; Moses 7:63)

Those reading, know that I have a testimony of my Savior and all that he has done for me and continues to do for me. I know that He volunteered before the earth was created to suffer the pains that I have so I can have peace and be comforted. His arms are open and waiting to embrace me at all times. When I am finished here with my earthly experiences, I can and will be greeted by a Loving Father and Loving Brother in Heaven. I am and will be encircled about in their arms eternally. I say this in the name of my Savior and Redeemer, my Eldest Brother, Jesus Christ. Amen

Mix Matched

Before you read this, please know that today I was working in a garden, pulling weeds in holey jeans, a baggie t-shirt, with hair in a not so great braid, and on the way home, I stopped to shop at Costco. With NO lipstick on (don't tell my mother).

Today at Costco I saw so many women nicely dressed. Their hair was done, make-up looked fresh, clothes all pristine! And next to them were these grungy, unkempt men. It was amazing to me the number of couples I saw. She was on her way to the runway and he was on his way to homelessness. I laughed. Later I was writing this post in my head and it occurred to me that I have had this observation before. Actually, I have had this observation before, but backwards. On Sunday, the men wear suits, with coats, and ties, and are all clean shaven. The women wear knit t-shirt type shirts with jean skirts and flip-flop sandals. Does anyone else find this match-up strange?

Atonement

I have been asked to give a talk on the Atonement in church this Sunday. Now, if I were a missionary giving a 5 minute definition, that would be ssssoooo easy (or so i think). Instead, I get to talk for 15 minutes, I think, about how to apply the atonement to our lives. SSSSSOOOOOOO not easy =) I am think that I will take the approach of how the atonement is also meant for those who have been hurt by the sinner, not just the sinner. There, that one sentence summed it up =) Now I need a bunch more!

Might Be Worth Something

Occasionally I have experiences that trigger thoughts. Sometimes I just have thoughts =) Either way, I am going to try and take some time to share these thoughts. One in mind has really made me ponder on a personality trait that could use some tweeking.